What’s In A Name?
Peter ran down the pathway that led from the main street of his quiet home town into the nearby meadow. It wasn’t exactly a lush thriving forest. Just a small meadow of trees all clumped together that made itself seem denser and thicker than it really was. Peter himself was lose himself in here for hours, despite another main road being just at the other side that had cars, buses and taxi’s flying at the busier times of day. Though to Peter’s ears, he never did quite hear those sounds in the middle of his own little private World. This quiet place of earthen browns and emerald greens made more sense to him than anything else. He loved coming here, playing here, getting muddy here. It was his playground, his castle and his sanctuary all at once. His fingers would curl around the harsh bark as he hoisted himself up upon the branches. The leaves rustling and bustling while he climbed. Eventually his legs would swing up, sometimes his clothes would snag on a stray branch, causing a slight rip or tear that his mum would end up chastising him for as it either meant having to sew them up which would take time or it meant buying new clothes, which meant spending money. Not that she minded either way, but she always would tell Peter to be more careful when he was playing. Well as it so happens, Peter would never remember her words despite how often he heard them. The climb was too enthralling and he’d get lose in those thoughts of getting higher, making his way up to the top. He was just lucky that today, there was no snag and no rip. He managed to secure himself halfway up the tree in the middle of his meadow. He looked down, giggling as the height made him dizzy, he enjoyed that feeling. Seeing himself up above everything else. Away from any worries that would usually inflict themselves upon such a young mind. Worries like hoping the beans in his dinner didn’t spill over to touch other foods, or the worry of his homework for school, hoping that he didn’t forget anything (again). Even the worry of sometimes his friends might not be his friends, sometimes they were nice, sometimes they were mean.
He could never understand that… but here, in this space, all by himself. Everything made sense.
Or at least it did.
“Aren’t you rather brave? Coming all the way up here!”
A voice, musical and pleasant called out. Peter looked around, his young face turning this way and that with his boyish tousy brown hair growing longer each day, tussled where he looked. Blue bright eyes scanning around, seeking where the voice was from.
“Try looking up.” The voice said amused, curious about the small boy below.
Peter did indeed look up, and there somebody was. Another child? They looked youthful and Peter couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl, they appeared almost as young as he was but at the same time seemed older, much older. They were dressed in fine green and brown garments, matching the background of the meadow.
“I see you’ve been enjoying my little Kingdom.” They continued, their whimsical voice retaining its light tone and playful nature.
“I’ve been watching you for a while, you come here every day, don’t you?”
Peter simply nodded, unsure what to say or do. He felt that maybe he should climb back down and make his way back home as fast as he could but at the same time, he felt he was safer staying put. That leaving would be more dangerous than staying.
“Oh, don’t you worry, I’m not dangerous. At last. Not yet.” The person said as if reading Peter’s thoughts, a smile creeping upon the youthful face. If it was meant to offer reassurance, it did nothing of the sort. Peter simply gulped and spoke with his own voice, quiet at first, trying to be as brave as he could.
“Who are you? And what do you mean, your meadow?” Peter spoke quickly, knowing if he didn’t get it out at once, he would’ve said nothing.
“Who am I? A very good question! Simply call me ‘Rowan’. And I mean my meadow because this IS my meadow. You are but a visitor, a welcomed one I assure you but a visitor nonetheless.” Rowan spoke, as he sat on the branch next to Peter, swinging legs back and forth.
“So… if you’ve been watching me… what is it you want?” Peter enquired, at this Rowan grinned more. “Straight to the point! Well as it so happens, it’s not what I want. It’s what I can do for you. A favour perhaps, one of a Kingly kind for this is my Kingdom and it is within my power to grant you such a desire.”
Peter looked confused. “What do you mean a favour?” At this Rowan sighed. “I mean exactly that, anything you want, any one thing you can think of and I can offer it. Though of course, it is a favour as I said, I do expect a small thing in return.”
“And what’s that…?”
“Simply, your name.” Rowan spoke, stopping as he looked at young Peter. It was almost as if the wind stopped when Rowan asked this.
“My name?” Peter responded; a bit bewildered. He didn’t understand why he would be given anything he could think of, just in return for his name.
“Yes, yes, your name!” Rowan repeated, unable to contain his glee, knowing he was this close.
“That’s a pretty silly thing to ask, it’s Peter.” Rowan grinned as he looked deep into young Peter’s eyes, there was a moment of pure joy which suddenly turned into bitter disappointment as Rowan looked back. “You’re sure? Your name is Peter?”
“Why yes, it is!” Said Peter matter-of-factly. The boy felt a lot braver now. Rowan just wanted his name after all. “So, if I asked for the tastiest sandwich, I could get that?”
“Well, yes, I suppose…” Rowan said, glaring at Peter. He knew what Peter said was true, yet something was wrong.
“Maybe… if I asked to always get every question right on my homework?”
“That is something you could ask, yes.” Rowan said under his breath. Peter should be his name, yet it wasn’t. How could this be?
“What about… simply to be happy? Like I am when I’m climbing! I think I’d like that when I grow up, just to be happy as me!”
Rowan looked the boy up and down, muttering to himself. “All right, all right. Fine. You will be happy within yourself! Done!” Rowan clicked his fingers and Peter blinked.
“I don’t feel any different.”
“Are you happy where you are, at the moment?” Rowan grumbled.
“Well, yes.”
“Then its working, isn’t it?”
“I suppose so!” Peter laughed, thinking the whole thing funny now. Rowan didn’t seem nearly as scary as he first thought.
“You still owe me a name though, Peter. I’ll be sure to see you again, until my favour is repaid!”
“But I gave you my name, you just said it. It’s Peter!”
“I’m sure you did, still… I’ll be keeping my eye on you. Until the next time, dear Peter.” And with that, Rowan jumped off the branch and as Peter looked down, he saw the rustle of leaves and Rowan was simply gone. There was no thud, no loud noise of Rowan crashing to the ground or anything. Just the sound of the wind and then, the outside World came back into hearing. Cars and buses once more. Peter realised he’d spent a while here and so he climbed back down, laughing to himself thinking that Rowan was rather odd, quite silly… but his contorted annoyed face was very funny.
After a while, Peter would continue to go to Rowan’s meadow and most times but not all Rowan would appear. Peter came to consider Rowan a friend, even if he was rather odd and kept asking about names. He knew Peter’s name was Peter yet he was never satisfied, still. They spoke, sometimes they even played. Rowan even indulged Peter’s requests of different games and Peter was amazed at the way that Rowan could play, how agile and nimble Rowan could be. How he could make the leaves move this way and that, how the branches even in the thickest parts could open up for them. Rowan would come to know more about Peter, about some of Peter’s quirks. How sometimes there were things he couldn’t understand which is why he liked this quiet space, how sometimes people could be mean for no reason, even his own friends. Rowan listened to it all and in spite of himself… he had come to grow fond of Peter’s company. Rowan had now found himself looking forward to these visits, he was aware he was still owed, but as time went on that mattered less and less.
Until one day Peter, older now, with long hair and a clean-shaven face walked up to the meadow, pushing branches aside to enter as he always had done. He was taller now, much taller than he was as a boy. Though he still had a soft-spoken voice.
“There you are Rowan.” Bright blue eyes looking up. “I’m sorry to say, I think this is going to be my last visit.”
“Hmph.” Rowan uttered, sat in a branch high up, his back to Peter.
“I know you’ll be disappointed but here, I got you something…”
Rowan gingerly turned around; the thought of gifts was too tempting to not look.
“It’s just some of my favourite toys from when we used to play as kids, well, when I was kid.” Peter corrected himself. “I’ve not been the most understood and I know people would think me crazy if I was to talk about you, a young boy having an imaginary friend called ‘Rowan’ is one thing… but at this age? People would start to wonder, but I know you’re not imaginary, I can see you right here.” Peter’s eyes started to water a bit.
“I am happy you know; I don’t know if that’s because of you or not but I am, but… I’m having to move. Away from here… maybe I can visit from time to time. But I’m going out into the World on my own… I’m going to study, hopefully get a good job doing something I love and then, just being happy. Some things I’m unsure about, I have questions, but… I think I’ll get there.”
Rowan hopped down, nudging about the different assortment of toys, balls of different shapes and sizes, Yo-Yo’s that whizzed when you played with them as well as other trinkets and silly things. Rowan would never admit it, but he loved these little human things.
“I see.” He merely replied.
“I’ll come back, promise.” Peter said, tears forming properly now.
“Go, I understand.” Rowan said, without any emotion.
Suddenly Rowan had the air squeezed from him, as Peter wrapped his arms around his tiny friend tightly. “I’ve read books you know; I know what you are Rowan and it’s okay. I know you’re not meant to be my friend, but I think of you as one of mine.”
Rowan pushed Peter away, as Peter smiled. “You don’t know anything, Peter!” Rowan snarled.
“I know. I’ll come visit again and hopefully learn.”
“Then stop dillying and begone! Away, away and out!” Rowan growled and shouted. “This is my meadow, not yours! You are no visitor, away, away with you!” The branches tightened, pushing Peter out, forming a barrier and barricade, blocking him as he found himself out of the meadow and right at the entrance. Peter just brushed his hand against the branches.
“Bye Rowan, It’s okay. I forgive you.” With that, Peter turned and left, to lead the life he is meant to as humans always do. Leaving Rowan curled, weeping over the toys and gifts the seemingly ever young creature was given.
Years went by again, Rowan stayed within his meadow as he felt a familiar presence. A soft voice called out. “Um, Rowan? I think you barred me… so, can I get an invitation once more?”
Rowan bemused, looked out. It couldn’t be? Could it? He cursed himself as he remembered how he acted. His kind were a reactionary and emotional kind. He tried his hardest to contain his excitement.
“Of course, of course… come in, come in…”
A girl, or rather a woman, with long dark brown hair that flowed behind her back entered. She pushed branches and leaves aside, making sure her jeans wouldn’t get ripped, at least not again. Her colourful top bringing a brightness to the dark greens and brown of the meadow as she looked to Rowan with bright blue eyes and a big smile.
“Hi Rowan.”
“Hi.” Rowan mumbled.
“I’m sorry, it’s been a while.”
“It has.”
“Um, you may have noticed, a lot has changed.”
“Has it?”
The girl laughed. “I think I have you to thank, when I was younger, a lot of things never made sense but ever since meeting you… well, I think I’ve been surer of myself, more confident… I still remember the favour you gave me and I believe I still owe you a name?”
“No.” Rowan said. He climbed up to a branch speaking nonchalantly. “You gave me a name, it’s a shame though. As I understand it, that name is dead now.” Rowan looked back at the girl, blue eyes on his. “I gave you a favour, you gave a name. Our deal is done so you can leave and trouble me no more.”
“Then what if, there was no favour, no deals and I was simply to tell you a name. Not give it, just tell you one. Like you told me the name ‘Rowan’.”
Rowan rubbed his chin in thought. “You could, I suppose. I mean you could tell me any name couldn’t you, and I would never know if it was yours. So, which random name would you care to speak out loud?”
The girl grinned and laughed, enjoying the fun back and forth with her old friend.
“Alice.”
“Alice, eh? A fine as name as any. I suppose if there was an Alice, this could be her wonderland!”
“It could be, if there was such an Alice around.” She spoke with playfulness.
“And what do you think an Alice would like to do if she was around?”
“I think maybe a climbing race, going up to the very top!”
Rowan scoffed and laughed. “Against me?! Ha, she’d have no chance!” Rowan found himself smiling once more.
“Maybe so, but I wonder how I’d fare?”
“Now that sounds like a challenge!”
And so the two of them raced up the branches and leaves, laughing and playing just as they once did. Alice remembering her old childhood days and Rowan rushing up with her, nimble and agile as he always was.
Alice was allowed one final parting gift at her own request. A small seed from the meadow. She was to return home soon, a brief and short visit, but if this truly was Rowan’s kingdom. Then it meant every part of it was his, thus she would plant this seed in her back garden and if Rowan wished, he could come visit any time he liked. Rowan scoffed and merely told her to do as she wanted.
Yet.
The seed grew.
And it grew.
And Alice, as the years went on, found her own partner. With them, they had their own children. She had her own life to lead, but every day, she looked after the tree in her garden. A great beautiful Rowan tree. Every day, she would speak to it. “Good day Rowan, please be well.” Sometimes, there was no answer, other times. “Of course I’m well! Now is this a fleeting visit or do you have time to play?” And sometimes, Alice would play, other times, she’d be too busy but eventually her own children would laugh and play around the tree, if anyone was to see them. You’d think they were laughing and playing with their own imaginary friend, but Alice and quite amazingly, her supportive partner who had the shock of their life when they found out, knew exactly who the children were laughing with.
What’s more extraordinary.
Rowan never did once ask any of them, their names.
He could never understand that… but here, in this space, all by himself. Everything made sense.
Or at least it did.
“Aren’t you rather brave? Coming all the way up here!”
A voice, musical and pleasant called out. Peter looked around, his young face turning this way and that with his boyish tousy brown hair growing longer each day, tussled where he looked. Blue bright eyes scanning around, seeking where the voice was from.
“Try looking up.” The voice said amused, curious about the small boy below.
Peter did indeed look up, and there somebody was. Another child? They looked youthful and Peter couldn’t tell if it was a boy or a girl, they appeared almost as young as he was but at the same time seemed older, much older. They were dressed in fine green and brown garments, matching the background of the meadow.
“I see you’ve been enjoying my little Kingdom.” They continued, their whimsical voice retaining its light tone and playful nature.
“I’ve been watching you for a while, you come here every day, don’t you?”
Peter simply nodded, unsure what to say or do. He felt that maybe he should climb back down and make his way back home as fast as he could but at the same time, he felt he was safer staying put. That leaving would be more dangerous than staying.
“Oh, don’t you worry, I’m not dangerous. At last. Not yet.” The person said as if reading Peter’s thoughts, a smile creeping upon the youthful face. If it was meant to offer reassurance, it did nothing of the sort. Peter simply gulped and spoke with his own voice, quiet at first, trying to be as brave as he could.
“Who are you? And what do you mean, your meadow?” Peter spoke quickly, knowing if he didn’t get it out at once, he would’ve said nothing.
“Who am I? A very good question! Simply call me ‘Rowan’. And I mean my meadow because this IS my meadow. You are but a visitor, a welcomed one I assure you but a visitor nonetheless.” Rowan spoke, as he sat on the branch next to Peter, swinging legs back and forth.
“So… if you’ve been watching me… what is it you want?” Peter enquired, at this Rowan grinned more. “Straight to the point! Well as it so happens, it’s not what I want. It’s what I can do for you. A favour perhaps, one of a Kingly kind for this is my Kingdom and it is within my power to grant you such a desire.”
Peter looked confused. “What do you mean a favour?” At this Rowan sighed. “I mean exactly that, anything you want, any one thing you can think of and I can offer it. Though of course, it is a favour as I said, I do expect a small thing in return.”
“And what’s that…?”
“Simply, your name.” Rowan spoke, stopping as he looked at young Peter. It was almost as if the wind stopped when Rowan asked this.
“My name?” Peter responded; a bit bewildered. He didn’t understand why he would be given anything he could think of, just in return for his name.
“Yes, yes, your name!” Rowan repeated, unable to contain his glee, knowing he was this close.
“That’s a pretty silly thing to ask, it’s Peter.” Rowan grinned as he looked deep into young Peter’s eyes, there was a moment of pure joy which suddenly turned into bitter disappointment as Rowan looked back. “You’re sure? Your name is Peter?”
“Why yes, it is!” Said Peter matter-of-factly. The boy felt a lot braver now. Rowan just wanted his name after all. “So, if I asked for the tastiest sandwich, I could get that?”
“Well, yes, I suppose…” Rowan said, glaring at Peter. He knew what Peter said was true, yet something was wrong.
“Maybe… if I asked to always get every question right on my homework?”
“That is something you could ask, yes.” Rowan said under his breath. Peter should be his name, yet it wasn’t. How could this be?
“What about… simply to be happy? Like I am when I’m climbing! I think I’d like that when I grow up, just to be happy as me!”
Rowan looked the boy up and down, muttering to himself. “All right, all right. Fine. You will be happy within yourself! Done!” Rowan clicked his fingers and Peter blinked.
“I don’t feel any different.”
“Are you happy where you are, at the moment?” Rowan grumbled.
“Well, yes.”
“Then its working, isn’t it?”
“I suppose so!” Peter laughed, thinking the whole thing funny now. Rowan didn’t seem nearly as scary as he first thought.
“You still owe me a name though, Peter. I’ll be sure to see you again, until my favour is repaid!”
“But I gave you my name, you just said it. It’s Peter!”
“I’m sure you did, still… I’ll be keeping my eye on you. Until the next time, dear Peter.” And with that, Rowan jumped off the branch and as Peter looked down, he saw the rustle of leaves and Rowan was simply gone. There was no thud, no loud noise of Rowan crashing to the ground or anything. Just the sound of the wind and then, the outside World came back into hearing. Cars and buses once more. Peter realised he’d spent a while here and so he climbed back down, laughing to himself thinking that Rowan was rather odd, quite silly… but his contorted annoyed face was very funny.
After a while, Peter would continue to go to Rowan’s meadow and most times but not all Rowan would appear. Peter came to consider Rowan a friend, even if he was rather odd and kept asking about names. He knew Peter’s name was Peter yet he was never satisfied, still. They spoke, sometimes they even played. Rowan even indulged Peter’s requests of different games and Peter was amazed at the way that Rowan could play, how agile and nimble Rowan could be. How he could make the leaves move this way and that, how the branches even in the thickest parts could open up for them. Rowan would come to know more about Peter, about some of Peter’s quirks. How sometimes there were things he couldn’t understand which is why he liked this quiet space, how sometimes people could be mean for no reason, even his own friends. Rowan listened to it all and in spite of himself… he had come to grow fond of Peter’s company. Rowan had now found himself looking forward to these visits, he was aware he was still owed, but as time went on that mattered less and less.
Until one day Peter, older now, with long hair and a clean-shaven face walked up to the meadow, pushing branches aside to enter as he always had done. He was taller now, much taller than he was as a boy. Though he still had a soft-spoken voice.
“There you are Rowan.” Bright blue eyes looking up. “I’m sorry to say, I think this is going to be my last visit.”
“Hmph.” Rowan uttered, sat in a branch high up, his back to Peter.
“I know you’ll be disappointed but here, I got you something…”
Rowan gingerly turned around; the thought of gifts was too tempting to not look.
“It’s just some of my favourite toys from when we used to play as kids, well, when I was kid.” Peter corrected himself. “I’ve not been the most understood and I know people would think me crazy if I was to talk about you, a young boy having an imaginary friend called ‘Rowan’ is one thing… but at this age? People would start to wonder, but I know you’re not imaginary, I can see you right here.” Peter’s eyes started to water a bit.
“I am happy you know; I don’t know if that’s because of you or not but I am, but… I’m having to move. Away from here… maybe I can visit from time to time. But I’m going out into the World on my own… I’m going to study, hopefully get a good job doing something I love and then, just being happy. Some things I’m unsure about, I have questions, but… I think I’ll get there.”
Rowan hopped down, nudging about the different assortment of toys, balls of different shapes and sizes, Yo-Yo’s that whizzed when you played with them as well as other trinkets and silly things. Rowan would never admit it, but he loved these little human things.
“I see.” He merely replied.
“I’ll come back, promise.” Peter said, tears forming properly now.
“Go, I understand.” Rowan said, without any emotion.
Suddenly Rowan had the air squeezed from him, as Peter wrapped his arms around his tiny friend tightly. “I’ve read books you know; I know what you are Rowan and it’s okay. I know you’re not meant to be my friend, but I think of you as one of mine.”
Rowan pushed Peter away, as Peter smiled. “You don’t know anything, Peter!” Rowan snarled.
“I know. I’ll come visit again and hopefully learn.”
“Then stop dillying and begone! Away, away and out!” Rowan growled and shouted. “This is my meadow, not yours! You are no visitor, away, away with you!” The branches tightened, pushing Peter out, forming a barrier and barricade, blocking him as he found himself out of the meadow and right at the entrance. Peter just brushed his hand against the branches.
“Bye Rowan, It’s okay. I forgive you.” With that, Peter turned and left, to lead the life he is meant to as humans always do. Leaving Rowan curled, weeping over the toys and gifts the seemingly ever young creature was given.
Years went by again, Rowan stayed within his meadow as he felt a familiar presence. A soft voice called out. “Um, Rowan? I think you barred me… so, can I get an invitation once more?”
Rowan bemused, looked out. It couldn’t be? Could it? He cursed himself as he remembered how he acted. His kind were a reactionary and emotional kind. He tried his hardest to contain his excitement.
“Of course, of course… come in, come in…”
A girl, or rather a woman, with long dark brown hair that flowed behind her back entered. She pushed branches and leaves aside, making sure her jeans wouldn’t get ripped, at least not again. Her colourful top bringing a brightness to the dark greens and brown of the meadow as she looked to Rowan with bright blue eyes and a big smile.
“Hi Rowan.”
“Hi.” Rowan mumbled.
“I’m sorry, it’s been a while.”
“It has.”
“Um, you may have noticed, a lot has changed.”
“Has it?”
The girl laughed. “I think I have you to thank, when I was younger, a lot of things never made sense but ever since meeting you… well, I think I’ve been surer of myself, more confident… I still remember the favour you gave me and I believe I still owe you a name?”
“No.” Rowan said. He climbed up to a branch speaking nonchalantly. “You gave me a name, it’s a shame though. As I understand it, that name is dead now.” Rowan looked back at the girl, blue eyes on his. “I gave you a favour, you gave a name. Our deal is done so you can leave and trouble me no more.”
“Then what if, there was no favour, no deals and I was simply to tell you a name. Not give it, just tell you one. Like you told me the name ‘Rowan’.”
Rowan rubbed his chin in thought. “You could, I suppose. I mean you could tell me any name couldn’t you, and I would never know if it was yours. So, which random name would you care to speak out loud?”
The girl grinned and laughed, enjoying the fun back and forth with her old friend.
“Alice.”
“Alice, eh? A fine as name as any. I suppose if there was an Alice, this could be her wonderland!”
“It could be, if there was such an Alice around.” She spoke with playfulness.
“And what do you think an Alice would like to do if she was around?”
“I think maybe a climbing race, going up to the very top!”
Rowan scoffed and laughed. “Against me?! Ha, she’d have no chance!” Rowan found himself smiling once more.
“Maybe so, but I wonder how I’d fare?”
“Now that sounds like a challenge!”
And so the two of them raced up the branches and leaves, laughing and playing just as they once did. Alice remembering her old childhood days and Rowan rushing up with her, nimble and agile as he always was.
Alice was allowed one final parting gift at her own request. A small seed from the meadow. She was to return home soon, a brief and short visit, but if this truly was Rowan’s kingdom. Then it meant every part of it was his, thus she would plant this seed in her back garden and if Rowan wished, he could come visit any time he liked. Rowan scoffed and merely told her to do as she wanted.
Yet.
The seed grew.
And it grew.
And Alice, as the years went on, found her own partner. With them, they had their own children. She had her own life to lead, but every day, she looked after the tree in her garden. A great beautiful Rowan tree. Every day, she would speak to it. “Good day Rowan, please be well.” Sometimes, there was no answer, other times. “Of course I’m well! Now is this a fleeting visit or do you have time to play?” And sometimes, Alice would play, other times, she’d be too busy but eventually her own children would laugh and play around the tree, if anyone was to see them. You’d think they were laughing and playing with their own imaginary friend, but Alice and quite amazingly, her supportive partner who had the shock of their life when they found out, knew exactly who the children were laughing with.
What’s more extraordinary.
Rowan never did once ask any of them, their names.
Faevale Cottage
